What does independence mean to me? Yesterday I attended a church breakfast picnic honoring the 4th of July holiday, later attended a lunch picnic with a group of recovering friends at a different park. If my partner had not gotten sick we would also have attended a soccer match last night but alas, was not meant to be.

To me that is independence. The ability to make decisions with a clear mind, lose myself in other people’s world (and therefore have a quiet brain) and get from point A to point B.

I have experienced the opposite as well: imprisonment. Acting out almost against my own will, self absorbed to the point of great/painful stagnation, frozen in indecision and fear, thoughts racing, I can’t see/think as the road gets narrower and narrower.

Yesterday as I spoke with this person and that person I tried my upmost to stay present, look people in the eye and really see them. The time went by quickly as I moved through different clusters of people effortlessly. People may have thoughts, opinions, even judgements but it falls away like gossamer. Do I like me (mostly yes)? Am I right and current with my Maker (mostly yes)? When I am attune to His Will everything is just easier. It’s a hard won lesson but so worth it. I keep it one day at a time.